july 7 2024
I started writing this on my phone trying to kill time before an afternoon meeting. Normally I don’t work in the afternoon, I do like 7:30-12 but this meeting was 3-4 and then there was a company-wide meeting 4-5.
So I wanted to stay for both of them in the office, and this would make up time from when I didn’t work on the forth. But it was getting a bit difficult because I find it kind of hard to sit and do the same thing for 8 hours, or at least all of my jobs I’ve always had a really tough time on 8 hour shifts.
I’m not in the habit of working in the morning, then having lunch, then coming back and going back to work. (I went to cousins for lunch it was very good)
I don’t have this problem at school (college) and I often think about why this is. I think it’s cause I’ve been going to school for so long and it’s normal for me to go to class and then have some time between and then go back to class.
But I do have trouble if the time between classes is too great, like a morning class and then an evening class. Because if I go home after the morning class there is a high likelihood I won’t want to leave the house to go to the other class.
It's at least a bit more manageable at my internship because it’s technical/content writing and that’s actually interesting to me. But sometimes I just need to take a break.
I remember I did a month and some change at a factory doing the heat packing for the extra parts for stair lifts. 6-2:30, 5 days a week. I’m not built for that. Mercifully we had lunch and 1 break always the same amount at the same time (unlike when I worked at Joann’s) but after a while it got very difficult to make it to the end of the day, then it was very difficult to make it to lunch, then I was very difficult to make it to the morning break. You only got an afternoon break if you worked a 10 hour shift.
I suppose I could have tried to get less hours or more breaks, but it was so difficult to work up the strength to even go in. I had to leave early several times because I either started crying or I felt nauseous but couldn’t throw up. As I’m writing this I realize that this nausea was probably not some kind of stomach bug but actually a result of stress.
This is the job where, in the last week, I thought constantly about sticking my hand under the stapler right by my station so I could leave. Also my section leader used the R word like 5 times.
So objectively this internship is better and is way easier. But I still have trouble working for such long periods of time. Is it because I put so much effort into working that I use up all the energy for 8 hours in hours? I don’t know!!!! I enjoy doing the work being a technical writer and doing the formatting and writing and stuff but I can only go in short sprints at a time.
I was going to write more but suddenly it’s 8:00 and I want to lay in bed. (bc I require a song and dance to get to bed and not at my desk).